Sunday, November 20, 2011

My answer is in here somewhere (3)

The next day, was almost as difficult as the first. However, the simplest definition of insanity is doing the same thing twice and expecting different results. This was my different thing. I was going to achieve a different result.

After lunch, I put Zoe and Liam to bed for their afternoon nap. It was a beautiful day outside. I put a kettle on for some pressed coffee and opened the garage door so I could be outside but still sheltered from the incessant winds found in southern Colorado. A few minutes later with my Bible by my side I sat down and poured my first steaming cup.

"I'm going to be better. I will be better." I told myself,  "My answer is in here somewhere."

I opened the Book, took a sip and began to read......

Day three, I was beginning to enjoy the warm spring afternoons, the maple tree in my front yard was a deep, rich green.  The smell of a new season of growth tickled my nose. Pressing the plunger into my coffee I took a deep breath and said, "My answer is in here somewhere........"

On the fourth day, the sheer nature of exchanging "time for time" was helping my mood. The distance from my drug of choice was beginning to take effect. Once again I turned to the book of John. "My answer is in here somewhere....."

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word  was God."  John 1.1

I continued until I came to chapter eight verse twelve, "I am the Light of the world: he that follows me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life." (It strikes me today, my reader, the definitive use of the word "shall" leaving little doubt to the mind.) As I've stated earlier God and I were not on speaking terms, so instead I wrote my thoughts down.

"Today, I pray to walk in the Light and exchange my darkness with the light that is Jesus Christ."

Day Five,  as I began reading, John 15.1-17 stuck out and I began to think about what I had just read. "We are told to love one another and bear fruit. Yet, these two statements do not seem to be separate. Love makes Fruit."

I continued that day until I came upon 1 John 5.5 "Who is he that overcomes the world, but he that believes that Jesus is the Son of God." If I believe in Jesus, I will overcome. I WILL OVERCOME!!!

For the next three weeks I read "The Johns" everyday. Things were indeed getting better. I began treating my family better. My patience was increasing. It seemed I was on the right path. The mystery of the core issue remained but I was doing better. Sure I had my bad days but there were good ones in there as well.


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